i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Four minutes until I can fart!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Operation Purity has been aborted
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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