small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
