I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
