so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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