just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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