As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Of course I have a pirate flag
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
