What did we do last night that was yellow?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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