Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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