I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
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