What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
