We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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