Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
