I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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