All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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