OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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