check it out our google latitudes are spooning
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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