So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
