I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
