okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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