Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Sorry about my life...
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
