If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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