so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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