What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize