A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize