Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
