I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We left the knife in your bed.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
