just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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