I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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