Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
