Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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