As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
