Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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