did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
It's Friday. Sex?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
A+ Viking dick
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize