Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
