So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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