omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize