I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
