One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
