just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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