I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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