those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize