Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
