I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
There's even glitter on my cock...
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