I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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