the condom got lost in my hair
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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