Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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