she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
