I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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