She said her name was "party"
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
