k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
