Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
