This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
