Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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