what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
