I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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