she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
